Category: Dating and Relationships
The title is pretty self explanitory, but what do the ones you are interested in, men or women, do that at times gets under your skin?
Ironically, one of the things that some men do that annoy me is make generalizations about women. I'm not saying we don't all do it at times, though. it's just annoying when people start to let their generalizations get the best of them, and use them against people they really don't know well. Both men and women are guilty of this.
I'd say the only other thing that gets under my skin are the alpha male, macho types who will fight emotions to the point of making themselves miserable. I get that you guys aren't supposed to get teary-eyed at the drop of a pin like us girls tend to do, but this doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel anything, and communicate your emotions to those that matter.
there's only one major thing women do that annoys the piss out of me, and is the very reason I, unlike most, hardly have female friends.
more often than not, women don't say exactly what they mean, and there are hidden meanings behind what they do say.
That really is the worst. Just say what you mean ladies, you'll find that your guy will be able to cope with it much better. We're not built for logical problem solving, that's why we rely on you so much.
Also, I get annoyed with those few women who don't instantly fall in love with me. they must be lesbians or something!
Yeah. I never understood why they didn't fall instantly in love with me either Cam. I mean, what's wrong with the pick up line, follow me in to this here dark alley. I want to show you something.
that reminds me of so many of those romantic, so-called "true" accounts on twitter that always tweet all this bullshit about how the perfect boyfriend will treat you like a princess and know what you want without you having to communicate such desires. I think the worst are the ones that criticise men for not being able to interpret these hidden meanings. As far as women are concerned, living by these views is not only expecting men to basically be superhuman, but also living in a fantasy, fairytale world. and these are the same women who complain that men today are not worth having. it's one thing to joke about this. I don't have a problem with that. But actually taking this as truth?
Ugg, the last poster, if you knew how so true you are, Kay you do but from a males point of view. Sise, I had to deal with that crap for a long time until I made it clear in marage counseling that men are not mind readers, do not expect us to read your mind. When you want our full attention just ask nicely, then most or some of the time you will get it.
Well since I made this topic I suppose I'll post to it. :)
I hate when women draw attention to their man in front of people by complaining about what he does or does not do. That's just annoying if she does it over and over again, but I know a few that do that. I know not all women do that, thank goodness.
The thing that annoys me most about men is their tendancy to want their cake and eat it too. Men seem to think this mentality is ok, especially where women are concerned. They want a steady girlfriend, someone they can rely on at all times for the most mundane things, but then they want a few fantasy girls on the side. They want someone who will experiment with them, thrill them, etc. Guys, the steady girlfriend is most likely more than happy to play out your fantasies with you. Unless she's a prude, she'd love to be adventurous, sexually and otherwise--You dont' need to go seeking thrills elsewhere. It annoys me that men compartmentalize when it comes to this sort of thing... Just because your girlfriend or wife is the one you want to have a baby with doesn't mean she can't role play with you as well, or participate in other, more exciting and less conventional endeavors.
Another thing that annoys me about men is they will often hold back in an effort to spare the feelings of a girl or woman. Guys. Most of us want honesty. I get it that there are shallow girls out there who would rather live in dream world and want you to bolster their insecurities by telling them fake compliments, by giving them the false sense of invincibility by telling them that their the most beautiful thing you've ever layed eyes, or hands, on, by telling them that you're only interested in them, no one else. Save the bullshit. I want a man to be honest with me. If I look fat, tell me so. Nicely, but tell me so. If I'm nagging you, tell me so. I'll figure out another way to get my point across. Finally, if a guy is interested in some one new, tell the ex girlfriend the truth. I say this specifically because I know of a guy who broke up with a long distance girlfriend simply because they couldn't be together locally. He said they were over and marketed himself out there as a single man; He became very interested in a new girl, but when it came to telling his ex of the new development, he chickened out because he claimed he cared about her and her feelings. He claimed he was over her for all intents and purposes, but that he wanted to avoid hurting the ex. So the poor girl kept hoping that someday they'd get back together and that he was just dating someone casually--she offered to come visit him sometime, thinking he would want to meet once in a while to, i don't know, rekindle the fire or whatever, and he kept dissuading her because of course, by then, he was seriously dating the new girl. The new girl found out about the ex being dragged along and led on and she was on the verge of breaking up with the guy, because how could he keep both girls guessing, right? ugh. Just let it go, guys--You can't hav your cake and eat it too. Make solid choices that mean something to you, and make them wisely--that approach will pay off so much more in the end. Girls don't want to be two-timed, and you're not being the nice guy when you try to spare our feelings--you're being a coward. Man up, boys!! Be gentlemen with integrity.
the reason some men butter girls up with untruthful complement after untruthful complement, is due to how most women portray themselves. they expect guys to say they're beautiful when they're not, cause that's how they've been conditioned to view their gender. they also want men to save them from heartbreak/unpleasant things as often as possible. so, this idea that men are this way of their own accord, is far from true.
it's women as a whole that cause them to be so, by all the mixed messages, hidden meanings, flat out lies, manipulations, guilt trips, etc, where they cause the guy to feel whatever is at hand is his fault, rather than examine themselves.
I just had to add that, as I feel unnecessary blame is often put on men.
here are a couple more things I thought of.
I can't stand when women baby a man by reminding him not to leave his wallet, phone, keys, etc behind, when he leaves the house. considering women don't wanna be reminded of such things, why inflict that on someone else?
or, when a woman asks a guy to fold towels, then complains about how he folds them. you asked him to fold the damn things, and if you can't appreciate how he does it, do it yourself.
this goes for any number of tasks one can think of; women don't have it harder. rather, they allow themselves to work harder by distrusting men so much, instead of appreciating them as they themselves wanna be appreciated.
I agree Chelsea.
What about when you dress up nicely and your woman walks up to you and physically fixes your collar? That tends to catch me off guard and I don't care for that. I'd rather be told, and if I am not sure how something should look I will ask.
I agree, it is the women's fault. Thats' why I, as a women, am telling guys that we don't really want that. Only the phoney girls are looking for that kind of faulse vallidation.
All of these are good ones, and I totally agree with the insincere compliments and the want to spare a girl's feelings by not telling something or otherwise lying. That is something that really annoys me. One thing I dislike about some girls, is that they want a comfortable lifestyle, but then complain when their guy has to work long hours so they can have that, or they complain when he does not make enough because the girl can't have the life she wants.
Another thing tied to my last post, is when the girl expects a comfortable lifestyle but also expects to spend a lot of time with the guy. She's not happy because they don't have enough money, but yet she's also not happy that they aren't spending a lot of time together because he's working.
Probably my biggest annoyance is when I see someone leading a double life. For example, I hate it when someone puts on a really good religious show publically, putting down those who enjoy sex and aren't shy about it. Then you get them alone and they're obsessive about whatever fetish they have.
Let's divvy this up by typical genders - men and women- rather than the male and female sexes.
Men: Learn to wash and brush your hair like an adult. That means doing both daily, using shampoo from the base of your scalp to the tips of each bit of your hair, and brushing from base to tips in the same way until there aren't knots.
Saying "Hi" to strangers is one thing, so you may just be a friendly, talkative dude. Saying "hi" to consistently young, attractive women makes you a creeper, and yes, you are indeed being called a creeper in hushed whispers after people walk past you and in text messages for the next day entire.
Women: Strangers, which includes those of us who are in a crowd, line, or bus with you? We don't want to smell your super-cute fake fruit/flower perfume. You smell like a twelve-year-old who saved up her allowance and got to buy her first bottle of body spray.
Your fake group laughter sounds fake. It does. I don't care if you're giggling to be cute, laughing at an unfunny joke, or chuckling to fill an uncomfortable silence: It's awful, everyone knows you're doing it wrong, we're just politely pretending not to.
I would like to add vanilla to Miss M's list. Girls, no guy wants a girlfriend that smells like a cupcake, baked goods do not turn normal well-balanced men on, stop smelling like you just poured a bottle of vanilla extract over your head. Its not good, and it needs to be stopped.
Men, leave the axe body spray on the shelf, I haven't met a girl who liked it since I was a freshmen in high school. If you're over twelve, leave the axe alone. Get yourself a good, name brand cologne and be happy with it. and no, that does not mean go to walmart and buy a knock off, drop some cash on something that smells good.
Lets go back to girls, stop getting pissed off if we flirt with you. You got dressed that morning trying to look pretty, we're flirting with you, its a complement. It does not automatically mean we want to lift up your skirt. Contrary to popular belief, men are not always thinking of ways to get in your panties. At least not most men. Relax and enjoy it.
Also, just because a guy is polite and tries to engage you in conversation, it does not necessarily mean he's flirting with you. There still are some nice guys out there who will genuinely talk to you if you are near them and aren't standoffish. I include myself among these.
Men, stop depending on your bad ass attitude to win you a lady. Try having a personality too, I'm told it works wonders.
This is a short list, but I think you get the idea.
Men and women alike: I'm all for spraying on a little extra scent, the key phrase here being "a little". I don't mind the light scent of flowers or whatever you like, but when simply being near you causes me to get a headache, or feel as though I'm trying to inhale directly from the open bottle you used, tone it down, please. O, and if you're using extra perfume to try to hide the fact that you've just been smoking a joint, don't even bother. it's very obvious to everyone what you're trying to do. Don't forget, also, that when you get used to a scent, it won't smell as strongly to you than it does to others. Please keep this in mind when using perfume/cologne. One last thing, again for both men and women when it comes to scent: You do not need to re-apply your favorite scent every fifteen minutes. But if you must re-apply, would you mind at least waiting until you're in a more open space? or better yet, outside? I honestly believe that if smoking inside a building is illegal, so, too, should be spraying perfume. anyway, my basic point is that these perfumes/colognes are meant to enhance your scent; not to hide the fact that you smoke five joints a day, and shower once a month. this bottle is not going to make or break your dates; nor will any other makeup, for that matter.
I would like to add the way they dress. For guys, sagging. I do not think this is attractive. I can't stand when guys walk around with their pants around their ankles. It's just not attractive. No one wants to see their underwear. For girls, wearing slutty clothing. Once again, no one wishes to see bras or thongs. It's not cute, and it just makes girls look trashy.
I completely agree. showing a little bit of skin is fine, but walking around practically naked is not appealing at all.
Hmm. I personally don't mind when girls dress like that. what gets under my skin is when they do, and then complain when guys are staring at their cleavage. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't dressing with over half your body uncovered kind of send the message that you don't mind being looked at?
yes, it sure would, Jess. and, to be honest, I love showing skin; legs, body. hell, I don't even care if my nipples show, at times.
I'm proud of my body, and anyone who thinks I'm asking for unwanted attention, is ignorant.
Okay my peeves.
Men that pretend to be not interested in women when they are. Why can't you say so, and either hook up, or not, but except the outcome?
People, men and women say "I just want someone to be honest with me." Okay you say, "okay baby I just want to get in your panties and that is it." She or he agrees and gets mad because you haven't fallen in love the next morning. How can you be mad when you say you want honesty?
Women. You are sexual creatures. Nature makes men want you. Please do not wear your pretty lingerie, sleep next to me in bed, sit close to me and have a good conversation, and say to me how come you are always wanting sex? I am sorry, but I am not plastic, and when you smell like a woman, I'm not talking perfumes, but natural scents, you are in the house, you are warm, and whatever I'm going to want you. You don't want it leave please. If you can't leave and I can't leave we'll have a problem.
Yes Anthony I agree with that point and that is another one of my peeves.
Last, don't dress to show your body than get mad because people are looking? He's just a pervert looking at me. *sigh* dress in a tent already.
Forgot. About that man wanting his cake and eating it to business. Seems to me if a man says to a woman I really enjoy you and want to spend time with you, but I want to play. She'll agree only if he promises her that 1 on 1, but if he suggest that she should maybe dress up nice and wear sexy lingerie or something she'll rebell and say why should she have too? He should "except her as she is." You don't want him to find a playmate, but you refuse to be his playmate, so what do you expect? Makes me mad.
You want to be taken out, given the girlfriend treatment, but when you get home you want to put on your ratty bathrobe and hair curlers and net and he's suppose to love you.
ForReel, I totally agree with you about the honesty thing. Don't ask for honesty and then complain when it comes. if you don't like the answer, avoid that subject. If it disgusts you enough, walk away altogether. But don't complain. Now, having said that, you have urges; I have urges; we all have urges. But we also have this little thing called self-control. it's one thing for a woman to sit there half naked, flirting with you and flaunting her stuff, and then to scream rape when you make your move. But when a woman is simply there to enjoy your company, and she's made that clear, keep your dick in your pants, find someone else who wants it, or go take care of your own urges. Nature makes you want us, yes. But not all relationships are of a sexual nature. And if you expect all of your female companions to fulfill your needs should you find yourself alone with them, you really need to make this clear before you meet up. Believe it or not, some people don't always assume that every encounter with a male companion will turn sexual. I shouldn't have to leave just because you can't control your urges and failed to bring this up before hand. Though, to be fair, I wouldn't be enjoying company like that anyway, so I guess everyone wins at the end of the day.
As for your comment about wanting to go out, but then change into rags upon returning home and expecting your man to love you, I'll admit you're right when it comes to casual sexual partners. Chances are, you're getting together for that purpose, so it's fair to expect a good night. But if you're commited to one another and living together, you can't expect your woman to be your personal barbie doll model every night. now, if she never gives you any, that could be a cause for concern. But you can't expect the sexual ride of your life every single night.
Also, as a side note, if your girl is always wanting to dress in rags after coming home, and never wants to put on a show for you, maybe this is symbolic of how you make her feel. Maybe you need to work on your skills a bit, no? I know that when I'm attracted to someone, I quite enjoy dressing up for them. Maybe not *every* night, but I would gladly do it most nights. maybe she's just not that into you. Ouch!
I completely agree with you Ocean. If you're in a commited relationship, you can't expect the woman to come home and look like a barbie doll everynight. I personally like a man who will accept a woman no matter what. If I come home and just want to sit around in my sweat pants and a t-shirt, then he should still love me even then.
Everything should be give and take in a relationship. if your man is into having a girl dress up for him, by all means, try to indulge him sometimes, the key word here being "sometimes". You shouldn't have to do it every night, and this shouldn't be the deal breaker. if it is, he's not worth entertaining anyway. Just my thoughts.
Women for half a century have said, "You can't just turn me on. I'm not a machine. I'm not a robot." Ok. That makes a ton of sense.
Neither are we men. These frequent expectations that he will be able to be engaged, then disengaged, at will, will be able to hear you lambast your friend or coworker and then you want him to get along with this person later. Sadly, for all that women have said they were oppressed, it appears they learned nothing: they treat us exactly as they say they do not wish us to treat them.
For example, I as a blind person who has had to ask for accomodations in my life, by all reasonable sense, should be more sensitive to those who also need such accomodation, no matter what the reasons, because I actually know what it's like.
So if women were equally logical, they would not treat us like machines to be engaged and disengaged at will, because for half a century they have claimed men treated them so, and that this is bad not just for them but for society as a whole. These fallacies are frequent, and although I was too cowardly and politically correct to admit it when I was younger, they do more to defeat you than give you anything you want.
If we men are never right, never good enough, never fold the towels right, never spend enough time with the kids, or don't talk to the kids as *you* wanted us to talk to the kids, or don't spend money the way you wanted it spent, or any number of other things, we men will ultimately give up on you.
Just a hint: it's not all about everyone has to accept you: it's got to be mutual. So while I agree that in a longterm relationship she would not need to be at her physical best 'all the time,' as you put it. But in our culture now, and for at least the duration of my own lifetime, the expectation of us men is that we be superhuman perfect fathers, perfect financial providers (remember while careers are about choice for women, men are born to work and work to die.) So sure, we all know, the guy can't just expect that you would drop everything and become sexually interested. Women are a whole lot less spontaneous that way than most men might be. But neither can we drop everything and suddenly take on the onslaught of emotion and venting that ultimately comes. It doesn't mean we don't want to: if that is what you need, your lover no doubt does want to accomodate. But news flash: we are actually human also. And just as you have said since the 70s that women can't be expected to do it all, neither can we men.
And what man would compare all women to the least common denominator? Perhaps some retro sexist pig of sorts, something from the South or a history book, but women will do this to men constantly. The examples are always of either criminals (rape and assault) or general lowlifes.
My peeve against us men is that we (myself included) for the most part have not treated women equally: we've given them all sorts of special consideration and said oh that's ok you can do that to us, I can handle it, of course we have to atone for what your grandmother suffered ... and the list goes on.
If we treated women equally, we'd have the same equal expectations of them as we did of us. And the respect factor, which of course we men know is not demanded but earned among ourselves, would actually be applied that way towards them as well. I realize there's far too much money being made on the current perceptions, and people who have had the victim status hate to let go of it. But think about it: everyone on this site talks about how the blind should do better to represent the blind, or be less demanding, or a zillion other things. If you leveraged the same thing towards women in general, you would absolutely anger and terrify them far more than the freaks of yesteryore ever could. Bottom line: you can either be somebody sepecial, who always has the victim stance, expects that the rest of us compensate for you, always have it harder than the rest of us, always need more time, more emotional support more any number of other things. Or, you can rise up and take full citizenship, full responsibility, full OWNERSHIP for yourselves. That's empowerment right there: not making demands, but stepping up. I certainly know as someone that's blind, that the way I've gotten respect and accomplished things in life had nothing at all to do with making demands, or telling people how much harder it was: it had everything to do with me actually getting out there and doing it.
Probably the most sexist thing our generation of men has ever done is to endlessly concede to the demands, what the NFB calls killing with kindness. I don't think it's been deliberate: most of us haven't known it could be any different. But there, for better or worse, is my take on the situation. I really think most women would be shocked at how fra they got by giving up the demands, victim status, and reminders of the 1950s or other time periods before we were even born, and instead took full ownership, full citizenship, full responsibility. That would be women's empowerment like the 70s could never have dreamed of, precisely because that is how humans in general really do empower themselves.
I have the perfect solution. Women, if you want to come home and just relax in comfortable clothes, throw on one of our T-shirts. There is not a straight red-blooded male who doesn't like the site of his girl in one of his T-shirts. You'll be comfortable, and he'll be thinking you're hot. Consider the problem to be solved.
Way to go Leo.
And, I don't mind wearing my guys clothing. I think it's sexy.
I agree with Cody and leo. I'll also add that as much as women say they don't wanna dress up all the time, they shouldn't get their panties in a wad cause a guy's definition of relaxing is often to open up a beer or three by his chick's side.
I agree wholeheartedly with everything the last few posters have said. Amen Leo. I agree with you completely too Jess, and Cody, thank you for reminding me that there are nice guys out there that aren't trying to flirt with you. Ok. I have a lot more peeves about women than men honestly, lol. one is jealousy. Seriously, if a dude thinks a celebrity chick is hot, don't get insecure, your guy should be with you for a reason, because you're the one he wants, not the one in the picture. Also, I hate when chicks get jealous if the guy has female friends especially if the female friend in question came before the new girl. Don't expect your men to stop talking to a female friend just because you're together now. The bros before hoes saying still applies, regardless of whether she's a female or a male. Another thing chicks need to give up is being controlling. Don't complain if your man wants to go out with his boys for a few drinks that he's never home with you!!! Used to do that, and I realized, "How would I feel if it was done to me?" You'll turn intoo a stage 5 clinger, and if done too much, it's welcome to Dumpsville, population, you.
Ok. Now on t my peeves about men. This list is a lot shorter lol. Ceepy men bother me. Don't ask me my bra size, unlesss we're in bed or something. If I don't know you, I do not find that attractive, and your answer would be met with a slap if I saw yu in real life, or a very sarcastic retort. I've had my share of stalker issues in my life, so I guess that falls into the creeper category Men who let their women dictate every little move they make annoy me. Seriously, grow a pair and stand up for yourself. Men who sag? Also sooooooo not attractive. Lol. Glad I can't see that business.
I personally hate to get fake appreciations. like if a girl is telling that my voice is attractive and that is turning her on, I can't believe that for sure.
Secondly, if a girl keeping on talking about her ex, that could be quiet anoying for me.
fake moanings, fake whisperings, fake fantasies are not my taste.
Just be honest, say even if you don't like something with me. If I can correct that, I'll do. If not, I'll just say deal with it, it's my nature.
Raaj
My gosh, if I ask for time to blow crap up on mariani "game", using it as an example, please give me space. As a guy I could sit here and explain why we men like to watch crap beeing blown to heck and back but that would be a long conversation. Even more, why we love to be involved in such a task would take all eternity and time :).
I have another one as a man, when you call your other have not to chit chat but to inform them of a job posting or places tht will be hiring and they do not answer the phone. Yet when the tables are turned there is a lot of fussing or b******* going on.
Another thing that makes me feel awkward is when I have dated a girl, and it seemed like she was showing off the fact that she was dating someone. She became very rude towards some of her closest friends, and they came to me asking what the hell her problem was which is not a good position to be in.
Ok, that last post made it sound like that was one relationship that went bad. This actually happeneto me several times. What I was trying to say was how some women date some guy and let it affect their other friendships. Some even do it to cause jealousy from other women which in my opinion is childish. I don't want to be with someone who acts like a middle or high school chick.
I agree with you Sammy. I hate when guys are too clingy. That was how my ex was. He would even get jealous that I was with my family, so yeah, got rid of him. Bros before hoes or whatever you wanna say is the motto. I can't stand when girls expect their guy to be all about them all the time. I have friends that are like that, and I want to slap them half the time. Also, when people just don't listen. If you try warning them about something, and they get pissed because they don't wanna hear it. Come to find out, you were right. That's annoying too.
there are times to put your friends first, and times to put your partner first. Nobody deserves all of your attention all of the time.
Thank you Leo and Dody.
No, men don't expect women to be barbe dalls every night, but damn, now, if you put it on, are on all night, then come home and as Leo says want to turn it off and we have to except it well come on.
Sure, a man will and does except it, but how many times must he? You don't want the heat on, don't fool with the switches.
I will not make this gender specific but why must some people go looking for drama when they do not have it in their life? come on, that gets old some of us like a peaceful life.
I do not care what "this guy said to you, after you met him VIA the internet and found out he was a pric". same goes if its a lady, just cut them off and move on. Kay, that was a rant; moving on now.
I think that when men think they're right, and are the king of cuttoffs especially towards women is the lowest act. I dislike controling, posessive women who like to boss their calm sweethearts by checking their phone and telling them what to do, and it hurts to witness some treating min like human wallets